It Ain't Easy

  It's 1:30pm on a bright sunny day in Toronto and I am sitting here writing to you to tell you that it isn't easy. Whatever your thoughts are about how motherhood will be, they will be dashed as soon as that screaming little bundle of joy comes in to the world.

 This life you have lived for 20, 30, or even 40 some-odd years, until now, has been about you. You could go to the mall, the movies and a restaurant at any time. You could make a quick trip to the corner store for some milk and actually have it BE a quick trip. You can just leave, no problem, no worries.

  Now, a lot of people go into this career thinking it will be simple. Getting a baby together doesn't take too much time, right? Changing them takes no time at all and babies sleep most of the day away anyways. Actually, you're probably going to be bored out of your mind sitting home all day with your little one. There is no way that your child will ever be a nuisance, you'll just use some of the nifty techniques you read in a book to get them quiet and BAM back to watching your favorite show. And after that show, you can go to the mall and pick out a nice new pair of shorts cause it's getting pretty warm out.

Yeah, good luck with that.

One thing I have learned in the past 6 months is that life changes in an instant. You no longer want to spend all your money on outrageous purses and outfits. Those days are over because now... now you feel guilty. You will want to spend that extra money on extra baby things. Things you probably don't need but they are just too cute to pass up. And yourself? Well. You have enough stuff as it is... do you really need more?

Another thing. There will be days when your baby will just cry for no reason whatsoever. You will try everything, rocking, playing, feeding, changing... nothing will help because in that moment, they are more interested in crying... nevermind that it's driving you up the wall. And on these days, you might even cry yourself. Heck, some days you'll cry even harder than you're little one out of sheer exhaustion and being fed up with not knowing what to do. There will be nights where you will be woken up every couple of hours because your baby just wants to eat... or be changed.. or simply just wants to do anything but sleep.

You will have advice coming out of every orifice from every person you've ever known. Whether or not they have kids won't matter. Their kids could be just born or out of the house for 20 years... it won't stop them from imparting their 'wisdom' on to you. And will that advice work? Maybe.. sometimes. Other times the advice will be so crazy it will be all you can do just to smile and nod at the oh so wise opinion giver.

And just to let you know, sometimes things won't turn out how you always pictured them. Sometimes bad things happen and you just have to deal with them. There is no way that 4 years ago you could have told me that my daughter would spend the first two months in Sick Kids.. and that by the time she was 24 hours old she would have her first surgery. I would not have believed you. But it happened. Stuff happens. It's up to you to move forward past all that bad stuff and see how great it really is to be a parent. Because there will be times when you think you won't be able to make it... there will be some really bad days. But you know what? You'll survive. You're not the first woman to find this way harder than you imagined, and you will not be the last.

Just sayin'... it ain't easy. But hell, despite all the crap, it's worth it.

This blog will be my way of getting out the feelings associated with being a mom.. with living daily life and trying to have fun with it. Sometimes I will include happy stories about overcoming barriers and other days it will be that I had a really bad day. Some days it might just be a sweet recipe I've tried out and want to share with everyone, other times my attempt at being crafty. Overall, it's just going o be my story of motherhood as it is, no sugarcoating allowed .